God's Fairytale...Adventures Ahoy

              The hardest thing to do is rely on God.  We say it so easily, and spontaneously, of course we rely on God, what else would we rely on.  I don't think I've truly understood relying on God until today.  I recieved a short phone call from Jeremy explaining some things that may mean I may not see him when I first planned on seeing him in a few weeks, but would be able to at some point at a later date.  My heart plummeted and I felt like someone had stabbed me clean through with a burning sword.   I love my husband with all my heart, and I've trusted God with him and his safety. I've also prayed for God to help me rely on HIM more, and to learn to walk in God's great adventure, be careful what you pray for.

When Jer and I had our wedding it was beautiful, so many things I loved about it, and still do.  I believe my favorite part (or one of them) was what the sermon and our hearts were about, the adventure of marriage and going after God.  We knew it would not be easy.  God does not promise you a relationship of light rolling hills and nice spring flowers.  A walk with God is filled with mountains, craggy passes, bubbling brooks, rainstorms, rainbows, and valleys. 
It's filled with everything.  I'm reading a book right now called The Sacred Romance, it is about finding a romance with God and how HE wants to take you on a fairy tale with ups and downs to fufill your life. It also talks about arrows in our life that we believe, that we are not pretty enough, or that God doesn't care, or that God will abandon us.  To be honest, the last is something that scares the daylights out of me. I'm terrified to be alone, terrified that believing in romance and God is going to let me down.  Throughout the Bible you see God say, "I will not abandon you, I will protect you".  But look at how often things get mighty close, Abraham and Isaac with a father holding a knife above his son, or Job and all his aflictions, he loses his entire family and everything he owns.  Terrifying.  God allowed it, but God also redeemed it.  Sometimes I ask God for a supporting role, please don't put me in Job's main character shoes, I don't know if I could handle it.

What does God have around the corner...

I have no idea what God wants of me, I've been seeing bits and pieces of what I believe is my calling in the last few months, and as I work to discover more of God's heart I realize that God is not a nice guy sitting in a tree.  Nor is he a fire and brimstone guy.  What God is or what he does is creates a story that will speak and ignite our heart and display his glory. 
We all know the fairytale ending, Jesus wins. I just have to keep my hands on the reins and trust that God knows what he's doing, even though there are rikety bridges, scary witches, and distances to cross that seem they will take a lifetime. Falling in love is scary, falling in love with the King of the Universe and realizing what an adventure you got yourself into is terrifying. 

Dressed and ready for our adventure...superman and sparkle :-)

What I need to remember is that God is not done with my story.  He is not done with Jeremy's story.  Everything is happening for a reason, and God is going to mold us and shape us into beautiful arrows that he can use. 
To the adventures God puts us in,
Aj
Edit: Talked to Jeremy tonight, and we are solid on the graduation date. :-) Also he picked our bases, 4 in England, 1 in Italy, 1 in Japan, and 2 in Colorado.  I'm kind of fingers crossing for Italy or Japan, although I'm way game for any of them.